Well internet - I have made a major decision. It was gut-wrenching and hard. There were a lot of tears and some disagreements in the house, but the decision was made. I am going back to school. When we move to College Station I will be attending Blinn College, the community college in Bryan, and joining their Transfer Articulation Program (TAP). Basically I will be attending Blinn for 2 semesters and then I am guaranteed admission into Texas A&M.
You many be asking, "Why was this such a hard decision?" It took me 7 years to get my first Associate Degree in General Math and Science. I changed my major about 5 times and had to keep starting over. Depression took over some semesters and I didn't finish that semester's classes, so I would have to keep retaking classes. I vowed every semester that I would fight through and finish, but more times than not I just gave up. I did eventually finish and transfered to the University of Houston - Downtown. In the 2 semesters I attended, I only finished one class with a C, and only because it was an online class.
So there were doubts, both my own and Boyfriend's, that I would follow through. It isn't my ability to handle the course work that was in question. It is the fact that I have a problem finishing things I start. We will be in College Station for 5 years while Boyfriend is in grad school. So I have to finish my new Associate Degree in Criminal Justice and transfer to A&M to get my Bachelor's in Forensic Science in that same time frame. I am in my mid 30's it is time to get this done!
It really sucks when you are known for not finishing what you start. It is even worse when it is Boyfriend doubting that you will follow through. But I decided. This is it. I have this one chance to prove to Boyfriend, my family, my friends, and more importantly myself, that I can do this. I am smart. I love forensics. I can do this.
This also means that my Full-Time House Monkey aspirations are put on hold until further notice. I am trading in that aspiration for Full-Time College Monkey (ha ha). I am actually getting excited. The fear is fading away and I am feeling more and more confident. I am sure with the support of Boyfriend, my friends, and you I will be able to do this!
You many be asking, "Why was this such a hard decision?" It took me 7 years to get my first Associate Degree in General Math and Science. I changed my major about 5 times and had to keep starting over. Depression took over some semesters and I didn't finish that semester's classes, so I would have to keep retaking classes. I vowed every semester that I would fight through and finish, but more times than not I just gave up. I did eventually finish and transfered to the University of Houston - Downtown. In the 2 semesters I attended, I only finished one class with a C, and only because it was an online class.
So there were doubts, both my own and Boyfriend's, that I would follow through. It isn't my ability to handle the course work that was in question. It is the fact that I have a problem finishing things I start. We will be in College Station for 5 years while Boyfriend is in grad school. So I have to finish my new Associate Degree in Criminal Justice and transfer to A&M to get my Bachelor's in Forensic Science in that same time frame. I am in my mid 30's it is time to get this done!
It really sucks when you are known for not finishing what you start. It is even worse when it is Boyfriend doubting that you will follow through. But I decided. This is it. I have this one chance to prove to Boyfriend, my family, my friends, and more importantly myself, that I can do this. I am smart. I love forensics. I can do this.
This also means that my Full-Time House Monkey aspirations are put on hold until further notice. I am trading in that aspiration for Full-Time College Monkey (ha ha). I am actually getting excited. The fear is fading away and I am feeling more and more confident. I am sure with the support of Boyfriend, my friends, and you I will be able to do this!
May 1, 2010 at 6:56 PM
You can do this! Sometimes the time to follow through on your dreams arrives at an unexpected point in your life. Doesn't make it any less worth doing.
You'll be amazing.
May 2, 2010 at 8:40 AM
Thank you Kris. You have no idea what that means to me to read your kind words. It is time I stop letting my depression win. I am strong. I have proved it time and again -every time I pick myself up, dust my ass off. and dive back into school.
I find strength in your words. I will be amazing :)
May 2, 2010 at 9:18 AM
yay! good for you... and fuck proving anything to anyone. i like ya for you!
May 2, 2010 at 9:23 AM
Thank you Meagan - I appreciate it. I need all the support I can get!